We’ve been asked this a lot and the short answer is, “God hit us over the head with it.”, but I’ll tell the full story. For those who don’t believe God speaks directly to you, you may think these things are all just one big coincidence, that’s OK. But, read this story and know that we believe in our hearts that God spoke directly to us.
Over the 10 years prior to starting our adoption journey, Julie & I had lots of difficulty having a second child. We always felt incredibly blessed to have Alex, but we also had a strong desire to have more children. Many of you have experienced the incredible pain of a miscarriage. Each time we experienced this, we would question whether or not we should stop trying to have children.
The last time we had a miscarriage, we felt like maybe we weren’t supposed to have anymore children. We prayed every time. This last time our prayer was simple, “Do you want us to stop?”. Adoption was not what we were praying about. We were asking God if it was His will that we have no more children and realize the incredible blessing that we have a wonderful son.
On a Friday shortly after this prayer, we were at work and Rebecca and Jocelyn Marr came to visit us at the camp. Brett Forney was in my office at some point during their visit and saw Julie interacting with Jocelyn and said “Julie really needs a little girl. Have you all ever thought of adopting a little girl from China?”. I told her we hadn’t really thought about it.
Later that day my mom & dad stopped by to see us. My mom had been to physical therapy for her new knee. While talking about her PT, my dad said to Julie and me, “You know what your mom’s physical therapist did? They adopted a little girl from China. You all ought to go over there and get you one.” We just kind of said something like “That’s great.” or “How about that.”
That night Julie & I were flipping through the channels, and saw Steven Curtis Chapman on Fox News with his wife. So we stopped to see why he was on a news channel. He and his wife were promoting their new foundation, Shaohannah's Hope, which helps families financially afford international adoption. He and his wife had adopted 3 girls from China and want to help make adoption possible for more families.
At this point, after hearing “little girl from China” 3 times that day, we began to pray about adoption, not specifically about adopting a little girl from China, but simply “Do you want us to adopt?”
Two days later on Sunday, we went to Fuddruckers for lunch with my parents and our minister and his wife. As soon as we walked in the door, we see Rex Garrison, who my brothers went to school with at Milligan. I hadn’t seen him in 2 or 3 years. Rex was with his wife and his two daughters, both of whom they adopted from China.
So Julie and I took this as enough to say, “Looks like we have our answer.” We went home, got on the internet, and looked up Steven Curtis Chapman’s foundation, Shaohannah’s Hope. There was a link on there for those considering adoption, and we followed it and found a list of adoption agencies they recommend. From that list, we looked at America World, a Christian adoption agency.
On America World’s site we saw that they were hosting an informational seminar in Knoxville just a week or so away. We went to the seminar, heard the information, watched the video from the founders of the agency and heard a couple of testimonies, one from a family in Johnson City, who were just starting the process to adopt their second child from China.
We got in the car to leave, and Julie asked me, “What do you think?”. My response, “I think we’re adopting a little girl from China.” She said “Me too.”
It had only been days since we were asking God if He wanted us to give up, and we got four answers of “adopt a little girl from China.” Now I know it’s easy to say things like, well your friends and family knew about your miscarriages and of course they're going to be talking about your future children. OR you may say “What if you had run into a guy you knew who had a new Chihuahua at Fuddruckers? Would you have taken that as God telling you to get a Chihuahua.?” Or maybe even, “Steven Curtis Chapman is a celebrity, what’s the big deal about seeing him on TV?”
Well here are my answers: first, no one but Julie and I knew we had recently had a miscarriage. For that matter no one has known – family or otherwise - the amount of failed pregnancies we’ve had. It’s something that was very private to us. Also, neither my parents or Brett had ever suggested adoption to us before, but they both did on the same day.
As far as Steven Curtis Chapman, he is a celebrity, but I haven’t seen him on Fox News or any other major news outlet before or since until just recently, just that same night that both my parents and Brett said what they said.
As far as, “What if you had run into a guy you knew who had a new Chihuahua at Fuddruckers?”. That answer is easy, we didn’t run into this chihuahua guy.
We heard from God three times in one day, and we prayed and asked Him to tell us if this is what He wanted for our family. He answered in the exact way He did the first three times on that Sunday – He told us, “a little girl from China.”
Still not convinced, that’s OK too. God was out to convince US, and He did. I’ve always said that God knows me so well and he knows that I can be very dense, and sometimes He has to hit me over the head with His will. He did and we are so blessed for it.
We have a wonderful, almost 16-year-old son, and a wonderful 1-year-old little girl that we can’t wait to hop on a plane to China and bring to the home Her Heavenly Father has prepared. We’re thrilled that it is our home that He chose.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13
Sunday, September 14, 2008
The Road to Adoption: “How did you decide to adopt a little girl from China?”
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Where is Audrey Today?
My Dad told me today that several people had asked where Audrey is in China. So I told him I could give him the city and the province (which is Fengcheng City, Jiangxi, by the way), but that I would put a map on here to show where her home currently is.
I also highlighted on the map the two other cities we'll definitely be going to. We'll fly into Beijing and spend a few days sightseeing. Then we'll go to Fengcheng City to get her. After spending a few days there, we'll go to Guangzhou ("Gwong Joe" for those us in East TN). This is where we'll meet with the American Consulate and finalize the adoption. From there we'll either fly straight back to the US or back to Beijing, and then back to the US.
In case you're wondering why we would sight see before getting our daughter, this is the order that the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs has chosen for all international adoptions. They want you to taken in the Chinese culture and history as much as possible.
Aaron
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Happy Birthday Audrey!
Today was Audrey's 1st birthday which was bittersweet for us. We wish we could have been with her and hope that she had a special day. We know that God is watching over her even though we can't yet.
Aaron, Alex, and I celebrated by going out for Chinese food tonight and then came home for some birthday cake, presents and a few family pictures. The three of us sang happy birthday to her, blew out the candle, and prayed for her. My mom bought the birthday cake which was really sweet - pink & white with balloons. She also got her a soft Winnie-the-Pooh blanket/rattle. Aaron and I bought her a Winnie-the-Pooh outfit and My First Elmo which we will take to China to give her. We wanted to do something small but special to mark the occasion, and we will be able to show her the pictures when she is a little older.
Here is a little more of what we know about her from the report we were sent from our adoption agency. The report was done when she was about 7 months old, so I'm sure she has grown and is doing much more now.
- She was born in Fengcheng City in the Jiangxi Province of China on August 26, 2007. We have little information on how she was found, but we do know she was brought to the Social Welfare Institute on August 27th and the doctors determined that she was born just the day before. They named her Feng Jingjing (Jingjing being like a first name to us). She weighed 6 lbs and 13 ounces and was 18.9 inches long. She was placed in a foster home on August 28th and has lived there since then. She was born with a cleft lip and a congenital heart defect.
- At 7 months old, she was 24.5 inches long and 14 pounds. If she has continued growing at this same rate, she should be about 28 inches and 17 or 18 pounds when we get her (size 9 - 12 months).
- She is a light sleeper, quiet, sometimes impatient (what baby isn't?), fond of listening to music and playing with brightly colored toys, quick in reaction, has a ready smile, laughs aloud, and is closest to her foster mother.
- She can sit alone steadily, roll back and forth, grasp toys, follow objects and people with eyes and by moving head from side to side, makes sounds (baby babble), responds to facial expressions, knows her name, and can stand for a moment with arms supported.
- She primarily eats formula and rice cereal. She also eats some congee (mushy rice - sort of like grits), pureed vegetables, and baby biscuits.
Here are a few quotes from the report we have about her:
- "Sometimes when foster mother gazed at her angrily, her eyes would turn away and be full of tears." ~ Sensitive like me
- "She would refuse strangers, did not like strangers to interact with her and was jealous when foster mother was holding children in other families." ~ UH-OH!!
- "At age 6-7 months she liked watching TV. Hearing the music on TV, especially cartoons, she would wave her hands happily. When animals like dogs and cats appeared on TV, she would tilt her body forward and reach for them." ~ An animal, TV & music lover. Just like us.
- "She likes foster mother to hold her and go to play in the street, extremely likes to play with kids in the neighborhood." ~ Is something lost in translation here? A 7 month old that likes to play in the street?! At any rate, it sounds like she will fit right in at camp.
- "When she takes a bath she is happy and can clap the water for fun." ~ So sweet!
- "She defecates twice per day respectively in the morning and evening and has normal urination." ~ Aaron wanted me to put that one on here (he would).
She sounds so sweet and perfect for us, although she may give us a run for our money. Doesn't like strangers - we are in for it! We know there will be an adjustment period, and we pray that it will go as smoothly as possible for her. We can't wait to meet her and bring her home. Please continue to pray for her and for speedy referral and travel approvals so that we can bring her home very soon.
Happy Birthday baby girl ~ We love you!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
We have a daughter - Introducing Audrey!
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
~Ephesians 3:20-21
Here’s the complete story of yesterday’s events (a bit long):
At about 8:15am, we heard my (Julie’s) cell phone ring, but it was in another room and by the time I got to it I had just missed the call. I looked to see who had called and saw that it was our adoption agency, America World. I told Aaron and immediately called them back, but it went to voicemail because their official office hours do not begin until 9:00am. So we tried a couple of different extensions and left voicemail messages for them to call us back. We were both immediately very excited and anxious because we knew they were most likely calling about a referral since it was early in the morning, and there was really no other reason for them to be trying to contact us at that time. After leaving messages for them, we took the opportunity to pray that this would be “the call” and to ask God to let us know immediately and without reservations whether or not this was to be our daughter.
Just moments later, America World called us back to let us know that they had a shared referral for a little girl that they would like us to review and consider accepting. They briefly told us that she is almost one year old and has an unrepaired cleft lip and an unrepaired congenital heart defect. We agreed to review her file, and they immediately emailed us her medical information and growth report. They told us that we would need to make a decision within the hour of whether to pursue this referral by contacting doctors, etc. because of the nature of it being a “shared referral”. This means that many adoption agencies have been sent her referral information, and there can be several families reviewing the referral information at one time. Our agency only contacts one family at a time to review the information, but families with other agencies could be reviewing the same file and potentially accept it before we did. Our agency told us that the sooner we can make a decision and “lock” the file the better our odds of “beating the clock” if we want to accept. “Locking” the file means that we are committed to adopting her and from that point no other families can accept the referral.
Before opening the email, we prayed once more that God would make it absolutely clear to us if this were our daughter and to lead us to the right decision of whether to accept this referral. We opened the pictures of her and quickly read over her basic information and the medical report. Aaron then asked me what my initial gut feeling was, and I told him that I felt that this is our daughter and what God has planned for us. He said that he felt exactly the same way. It is not easy to explain, but God truly spoke to us, not in a loud voice, but with an overwhelming feeling of peace and certainty that she is our daughter. We briefly looked up some information about her medical needs on a few websites (WebMD, American Heart Association, etc), much of which we had already researched when we applied for the special needs program with America World because we had to list which special needs we would be willing to consider. We felt that the needs we had listed were ones God had already led us to at that time through prayer, which helped make the decision easier as well. Although we knew her needs are serious and will require surgery, and that there is some uncertainty to the severity and extent of what will be involved, we felt completely ready to accept her referral at this point. We believe without a doubt that this is what God intends for our family and that He will be faithful to see her and us through whatever her medical needs may involve.
We called our adoption agency back and told them, that we looked at her information and prayed and not only do we want to pursue this referral, we wanted to go ahead and lock it in. They asked us to hold for a moment and came back and told us that the referral was locked for us. After congratulating us, they told us they were going to send us some paperwork that needed to be completed and sent back to them to be forwarded to China. Normally they give you 48 hours to complete and submit everything, but since this was Friday, they told us that we only had until 3pm to get everything back to them so that they could review it and send it on to China in order for the China Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA) to have it Monday morning.
Our biggest task to complete was writing our “Letter of Intent” to the CCAA, and the biggest challenge in this was to detail to them the treatment plan for her needs, as given to us by a doctor with experience in international adoption of children with special needs. To make a very long story short, we were able to have Dr. Staat, the director of the International Adoption Clinic at the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital, review her medical and developmental information by email and then discuss it with us over the phone. She and her staff were very helpful, and God definitely provided for us in this step as well because she was on vacation but took time to review the file and talk with us anyway. We got everything taken care of in time, but it was a crazy day. Not just because we were busy trying to get things done, but also because we had lots of emotions – mostly excitement, but also longing to be with her, and concern for her well-being, especially the more we learned about her conditions.
Dr. Staat told us that her growth and development looked good from what she saw on the report, but that the information about her heart defect was too vague to know the full extent of her condition and what it would involve. The vague part is common with the medical reports that they see from China. She did tell us that many children with this condition have a surgery or two to correct the problems and recover fine, but that some have more complicated issues requiring multiple surgeries. The bottom line is that we won’t know until we have her home and can take her to a pediatric cardiologist who will determine the severity of the problem and what will be needed. We are hopeful and are praying that God will protect her heart and that her condition will be less severe and able to be repaired with as few surgeries as possible. We have already read about several children with this type of heart defect where this turned out to be the case, and they have fully recovered. Since this is turning into a long post, I won’t try to explain more about the type of heart defect she has. Here’s a link to the American Heart Association’s website that talks about Tetrology of Fallot, her specific heart condition, if you want to check it out - http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=1299.
The treatment for her cleft lip will also involve one or more surgeries, but the outlook is good. In addition, most children with clefts are likely to need ear tubes, orthodontic care, and speech therapy. Usually the lip heals well after surgery, with very little evidence of the cleft. Sometimes there is a slight scar, but it is not usually very noticeable. We will coordinate the treatment for her two conditions with our pediatrician and the specialists that will be involved.
After all the necessary paperwork was submitted to our agency, our family coordinator there reviewed it and let us know that everything was good and had been submitted electronically to China. Now we will wait for our referral approval (RA) from China, which gives us the official approval to adopt her. This is taking about 30 days or so from what we have seen lately but can take longer. Once we receive the RA, we will wait a couple weeks or more for travel approval from China, and the specific dates for our travel will be worked out with our agency. Normally, travel occurs 2 – 4 weeks after receiving travel approval. If things go for us as they have been for others lately, we will most likely travel to get her somewhere between mid-October and mid-November.
After all was said and done, we went to Stir Fry Café with two of our best friends, Tony and Rebecca Marr, to celebrate and share all of our good news. Thank you Tony and Becca for celebrating with us and supporting us so much through this process. You are awesome, and we love you!
After two years of waiting, we are so excited and thankful for this amazing gift! We believe that she is perfect for our family and will post more of the details we received about her soon – so check back to find out more (where she lives, personality, growth and development, etc).
I will close this post with a verse that has always been at the forefront of my mind through all of this:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11
